I am a huge Grinch. Every time I watch that movie, I root for the fuzzy green guy to complete his plan and finish off the denizens of Whoville once and for all (I’ve never seen How the Grinch Stole Christmas, he was trying to kill those Whovillains, right?). But, honestly, I think it’s Christmas music that I can’t stand. It’s such a strange genre of music, where something like 90% of the songs exist solely to tell you that it’s Christmas, as if it’s a surprise that it comes towards the end of the year, every year, since 336 CE. But, every once in a while, the mood hits and I like a Christmas movie. After spending about an hour going through my streaming apps and giving a thumbs down to everything that even looked like Hallmark Christmas movie, I came across 8-Bit Christmas on HBO Max. I like video games, I like Neil Patrick Harris (or as I know him, Dr. Horrible), and it’s sitting on an 84% RT score, so I decided to give it a try and see if it can break into my top 5 Christmas movies.
It starts with a familiar scene for parents these days. Jake Doyle, played by NPH, is talking to his daughter who desperately wants a phone for Christmas while on the way to grandma’s house. When they get there, she sees his Nintendo and asks how he got it, because she always thought he wasn’t allowed to have video games growing up. He goes on to tell her the story of how he got his NES.
From here, the story starts to unfold, Princess Bride style, with NPH flashing back to his childhood in the late 1980s and cutting back to the present for his daughter to try to hide her growing interest in his tale of Christmas hijinks. And hijinks they are indeed. You see, the only person in the neighborhood with an NES was the rich douchey kid who loved to lord his Nintendo over everyone. This kid gives off mega 80s movie villain vibes. He made kids line up in front of his house before he would choose the ones he’d let come in with the promise of play, sometimes making them pay some sort of tribute before doing so. He wore a karate gi, casually, over not one, but two polos with popped collars. He teased the kids once they got in, almost never letting them actually get their hands on the Nintendo. He’s the kind of kid whose dad owns a dealership and has definitely tried to shut down a ski resort so he can develop on the land.
The movie has fun with the unreliable narrator mechanic, changing the story in front of your eyes as Jake tries show himself in a more responsible light to his daughter, as parents do sometimes, I’m sure, and it’s very well possible that the rich kid wasn’t nearly as monstrous as he made him out to be, but that’s part of the fun of a movie that’s told like this. Realizing that Christmas was his best chance to get his parents to buy him a Nintendo, he goes on a campaign to trick them into agreeing to get him one because they, as Jake’s daughter rightly noted, did not allow video games in the house. I can commiserate with this; nothing was worse as an indoor kid than being told that I shouldn’t be inside playing video games and I needed to go outside and play. My response then was as it is now—if the outside is so great, why has all of human existence been an endeavor to wall ourselves off from it, thus creating the far superior inside? I digress, and I love all you outdoorsy types and all the gear (I want a camp stove, I don’t know why), but for kids growing up in the 80s and 90s as video games were making their initial foray into homes, this felt very relatable.
Once they see through his plan, Jake learns of a wreath selling contest for his Boy Scouts-like group with the top prize being a Nintendo Entertainment System. There it was. Right in front of him, in the form of a flyer in his little hands, was the proverbial golden ticket. If he wins the Nintendo, he doesn’t need his parents to get it for him. He was the master of his own fate, ready to pave the way to 8-bit heaven with a road of holly, fir tree branches, pine cones, and those little red berries you always see. And the way Jake tells it, just about every boy in the neighborhood (as adult Jake pointed out, the 1980s were a less inclusive time) went all in on, turning it into a cutthroat, dog-eat-dog competition that would definitely get a reality show called Wreath Wars on A&E if it were happening today. Unfortunately, Jake isn’t exactly what you’d call a natural salesman, but in exchange for helping to convince their parents to get her a Cabbage Patch Kid, his sister is willing to give him advice that will potentially give him a leg up on the competition. Now, if you’re of the age where you don’t remember what it was like for there to be a hot toy of the Christmas season, you might not fully understand what kind of ask this was. Cabbage Patch Kids were the Tickle Me Elmo and Furby of the 80s. Forget Talkboys and Beanie babies, parents were decking the halls and decking each other in the aisles of toy stores to get their hands on one. This was a big ask. (Good god, I wanted a Talkboy so much after seeing it in Home Alone 2 and, frankly, I still do)
And from then on, things get, well, complicated for Jake, in ways I don’t want to spoil for you, but suffice it to say, 8-Bit Christmas is a wild ride of plans and schemes. It has sufficient twists and turns and surprises to keep even the most jaded of viewers (like me) engaged, and the movie almost changes genre multiple times, and each time, it does it in a fun manner. In some ways, it’s set up like a heist movie, with planning stages and everything, including the full on planning board like a Grand Theft Auto 5 mission. The whole thing comes together as part Home Alone, part Ocean’s 11, part Boiler Room, part A Christmas Story, and all fun. At the end of the film, Jake, in both real time and in the past, realizes that the really important things about Christmas—about life, really—are what you do with the time you have and who you spend that time with. Stuff is stuff, it’ll always be there; there will always be the next Nintendo, the next Tickle Me Elmo, the next Beanie Baby or Cabbage Patch Kid. But they aren’t making any more time and at some point, we all reach those empty shelves where the Cabbage Patch Kids and the Tickle Me Elmos and Tamagotchis all used to be. 8-Bit Christmas is a reminder that the consumerism of Christmas, and indeed daily life now, isn’t the be all, end all of existence. The memories, the experiences, the look of joy gifts put on the faces of the people you care about, that’s what really counts. It’s what makes this not just a great Christmas movie, but a great movie for any time of year. It could have been set at any time, at any birthday or holiday (I know I wait with bated breath every year for my Arbor Day presents, I’m not immune to this), and still tell the same, fun, impactful story. I’m not going to lie to you all, when the movie came to the closing of the third act, some pepper or something got into both of my eyes at the same time and they watered uncontrollably for a little while. So it was kind of hard to see through all the not-emotional-even-a-little-bit-because-I-hate-Christmas tears in my eyes, but I’m pretty sure it was a good ending.
8-Bit Christmas is without a doubt, a wonderful, joyful, and nostalgic film that’s a fun and easy watch for the everyone, thanks to its PG rating. I’m not sure if it cracks into my top 5 Christmas movies, but if it doesn’t, it is very, very close. It’s definitely one I will watch again, of that I am sure. So if you’re looking for something to watch with the family this weekend or over the holidays, I suggest adding this one to the list. If you’re celebrating this holiday season, I hope you have a safe and wonderful time, some good food, some good presents, given and received, and above all else, I hope you make some memories you cherish with the people you care about.
Regular service resumes Monday, so I hope you enjoyed this holiday bonus post and I’ll see you then!