Lost luster or nostalgic security Blanket?

A lot has been said about the remakes of Pokemon Diamond and Pearl, as well as the originals, but I still feel the need to throw my hat in the ring here.  Pokemon Diamond was, until recently, my favorite Pokemon game.  I still think fondly on my time in Sinnoh, using my Pachirisu as a store-brand Pikachu and still cutting through swathes of opponents with the help of my Staraptor, Scyther, and Garchomp.  

But nostalgia and memories are strong with this one—I don’t remember much of the story, if anything, beyond the Pokemon title series mainstays; you are a young child of about 10 or 11, experiencing a wild act of parental neglect as you set forth into the world on your own with nothing but superpowered monsters by your side for you to unleash your wrath both with and upon, should you so choose.  Along the way, there’s a team of bad guys either trying to take over or end the world, commit some sort of genocide or another, or the like that you find a way to stop (as a small child, you are obviously the best situated to do something about it).  You’ll probably say something about revering the relationship between people and Pokemon, which is a nice proxy for talking about how humans need to be more respectful of nature rather than paving it all over and wondering why we have so many floods.  It’s a battle-hardened core story and that’s fine.

However, what I do remember is the multi battle co-op system.  Competitive Pokemon never felt right to me, and yes, when I was younger I liked battling my friends to show that I was a better trainer than they were, but as I got older, I found I enjoyed a more collaborative gaming experience.  I no longer wanted to beat my friends; rather, I wanted to team up with them to take on NPC trainers and show these smug virtual bastards which pre-pubescent pairing is the real boss (I know I’m harping on this a lot and it makes sense because kids are the main the audience for Pokemon, but if you think even a little bit about the situations you get into as a Pokemon trainer, the entire world should be done in for child endangerment).  

Some things did get an upgrade—Dawn has a Switch now, but that TV is definitely not 4K

By the time Diamond and Pearl came out, I was in college, desperately trying to figure my way through my own transitional period.  The law said I was an adult, the rest of me didn’t really feel like it, but there was one thing I knew for sure; as long as you hide everything about yourself, people will think you’re cool, and that’s the only thing that matters (thankfully, I know better now, and it seems the younger generation knows better as well).  My college roommate didn’t care about any of that; he wore Birkenstocks, had a ponytail, and would sing Jim Croce at the top of his lungs while walking around campus.  But he was a Pokemon nerd and got me back into the games after I’d either fallen out of love with series or determined them to be some sort of uncool thing I should eschew as I barreled irrevocably towards adulthood.  The Pokemon in the games were new and exciting, even if they didn’t feel like the Pokemon I grew up with.  The game still felt familiar enough that I was able to jump right in.  And most importantly, I spent hours and hours in late, late nights, sipping cheap whiskey and beer that felt fine at the time, but make me wretch now, playing this game with my roommate, battling our way through the post-game Battle Tower.  That’s the overwhelming memory I have of Diamond (he had Pearl, we coordinated); these hazy, slightly drunk nights that turned into hazy, fairly drunk mornings, playing Pokemon all night with a fellow who would eventually become like family to me.  I’m not saying we became such close friends solely because of Pokemon, but it helped.

So there you have it.  Life changing experiences that forged lifelong friendships.  Those aren’t big shoes to step into for a remake at all, are they?  Others have gone into more depth on the game itself, and I’d like to point you to Giovanni Colantonio’s review of Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl if you want a deeper look at the games themselves.  It’s a great piece of writing.  

While the remakes aren’t going to take years off my life and give me a chance to rethink my choice to take Astronomy at the exact moment my $300 textbook became useless because Pluto stopped being a planet, they have sparked conversation as to what Pokemon should be and where it should go.  I’ve found Brilliant Diamond to be strangely engrossing, surprisingly.  The old formula still works once you get past the lack of updates (though the limited style changes, expanded Grand Underground, and use of HMs via the Poketch were all welcomed changes) and allow yourself to be swept up in the nostalgia.  But clearly, relying solely on nostalgia isn’t a long term strategy.  At some point, I will burn out on playing the same game with a different look to it year after year, even one as cute as Pokémon, and so will others. 

I’ve long thought the anime needed an update, but for even longer, I’ve been craving more from the games.  Sword and Shield were a good start, but I had a hard time getting excited for them because I couldn’t see past the disappointment.  Since those college years and even before, Nintendo was the Pokemon company to me.  I hadn’t owned a Nintendo console since the original NES, but I kept in handhelds generation after generation so I could continue to play Pokemon.  I had an original Gameboy, a Gameboy Pocket, a Gameboy Color, a DS Lite, a 3DS, and a 3DS XL.  Yes, I missed the Gameboy Advance years, that’s on me.  When the Switch came out to be the handheld to replace all handhelds and the console to replace all consoles, I jumped at it once I learned that it would be the new home for Pokemon games.  However, I set myself up for failure here.  I’m not a Zelda fan—like I said, no Nintendo consoles since NES, so I just never got into them.  In the midst of a worldwide Switch shortage, I happened to be living in Tokyo where I could easily get one.  My PlayStation tucked safely away back home in the US, I had nothing to game on and needed a gaming outlet that was more engaging than endless Angry Birds editions.  So I bought a Switch and Breath of the Wild.  Granted, I still couldn’t get into BOTW—I tried, I really, really did.  I just think it’s too open for me and I really hate the degrading weapons mechanic, but that’s a different story.  What BOTW did, though, was raise the bar for the next Pokemon game so high, there was no way it could ever make it over.  In my mind, anyway.

Breath of the Wild’s vast beauty set some unrealistic expectations for Pokemon Sword and Shield—for me, at least.

My mind ran wild—the world of BOTW was gorgeous, expansive, and highly interactive.  The puzzles were challenging (sometimes too challenging, as I remember many times trying to use the Switch’s motion controls to roll a ball through a floating maze), the combat satisfying and intense at times, but it was that world that got my imagination going.  I started to think about a more open Pokemon, similar to BOTW.  Not necessarily a massive open world the way Zelda was, but rather a more interactive one, where I could forge a path and really live in the world of Pokemon.  I hoped for more combat innovation; I had fanciful ideas of a Pokemon game where my little monsters could learn more than four moves, for example.  But, that’s not what I got.  I got a Pokémon game.  A rather good one, sure, but a Pokémon game that felt like it did less with more than it’s ever had before, but still cost me 50% more than the brilliant Pokemon Sun & Moon, which is now and still my favorite game in the series.  Sun & Moon revitalized the gameplay, took away things like gym battles in favor of other challenges, and took a lot of bold swings.  Maybe not everything worked, but the island setting and the flow of the game just drew me in.  

Player customization was pretty damn good as well, which is important to me, because representation matters in games, just as it does in any other form of media.  And then Sword and Shield came out and it felt more like a return to form—yes, there were some big changes and I was happy about a fair few of them (the Wild Area and Pokémon in the overworld really helped with immersion and were great innovations), but when it came right down to it, I had allowed myself to believe the game that I wanted to see would be the game that would actually be made.  Of course that’s not how it would happen; not only am I notoriously out of lock-step with many of the fanbases I “belong” to (try to find 10 other Call of Duty fans whose favorite game in the series is Ghosts, it’ll take a while), I’m also not the target audience for Pokemon, I’m not involved in game development, and frankly, it would be wild and worrying if all my private thoughts on the game were actually manifested.  

I do think there’s room for improvement here, though.  A lot of room.  Obviously, I don’t want to leave the core audience behind, nor would I expect Pokemon, a multimedia series about cute little animals, to start catering to the older generation of Pokemon fans.  I’ve said before that games are for everyone and, in a way, Pokémon embodies that more than any other single title or series I can think of.  One of the joys of Pokemon is that pretty much anybody of any age or ability level can pick up the game, find something endearing, and wrap their minds around the gameplay; sure, they won’t breed for maxed out IVs or engage with the competitive meta, but they can level up a well balanced team and stick it to the Elite Four with the same enjoyment that I get out of doing it myself.  So, as much as I’d want a Pokemon game that’s essentially Uncharted with superpowered thunder mice, I don’t think it should happen (well, maybe for a Pokémon Ranger side game…). 

But you can still change the gameplay for the better without alienating the core audience.  The formula for what Pokemon can do hasn’t changed a bit since the first game, with the exception of no longer needing HM moves to traverse the world; this means you don’t have to dedicate a Pokemon (or two, in some games) to housing these often underpowered, unforgettable moves (this is the worst part of going back to older installments).  Otherwise, it’s been six Pokemon, four attacks each, and little variation.  A few new types, a few new moves, but that’s about it.  We’ve had selectable options in conversations before, but they always end up in the same place, no matter what you say.  And despite the fact that the badge system is in place to keep you from becoming overpowered compared to your next gym, it’s relatively easy to make sure you grind your way up to a clean run.  

I get migraines too, Cynthia, I empathize. But I’m still going to knock you off your throne.

I think the first thing that Game Freak could do to add some depth to the gameplay is to implement difficulty levels.  Games are getting pretty creative with difficulty now, some of them having cute names even, but what I’m seeing a lot of now is that it’s no longer just easy, normal, and hard.  You see things like “story mode” as a difficulty level, which lets players experience the story without worrying too much about struggling through the game’s combat.  That’s pretty much where the Pokemon standard is right now, but if you add some higher difficulty levels, you’d be able to accommodate older players who are interested in having more challenging battles.  Rarely do I complain that a game is too easy (though I did have a season where Gabriel Martinelli scored 200 goals for me playing striker for Leeds United; that was definitely too easy), but I would welcome some harder battles.  I haven’t been knocked out in the middle of a battle since the first generation of game.  At the very least, gym leaders’ Pokémon could have dynamic levels, based on the levels of your Pokémon, always keeping them either in the same range or slightly above.  That would ensure the gym battles feel like they have higher stakes than your average trainer battle and would foster creative strategies to deal with these mini bosses, at higher difficulty levels.  Leave them be for easy and normal, but for harder difficulties, level those gym leaders up.  

Let’s keep it at six Pokemon, but I would like to see an expansion of the move set.  Allowing each Pokemon to have more moves would give players infinitely more strategies to utilize to take down gym leaders and the like.  I’m sure there are highly competitive players who have deep strategies going into battle, but for the main game, I generally play the same way I’ve played since I was a child.  All six Pokemon have all four moves set as attacking moves (since PP restoring Ether is always a rare commodity and there are often long stretches of time you go without being about to hit a Pokemon Center to restore your Pokemon), usually one is the top of the line big boy move, then the one that actually hits, and two others that do some damage, but are usually less effective or off-type to diversify the moveset. The gameplay can get a little boring that way; getting through the entire game basically using only Flamethrower, Thunderbolt, and Leaf Blade on every opponent the second I graduate from their weaker counterparts and only using the bigger moves in a pinch since they seem to always miss when I use them, but that’s another issue.  I’m not sure the best way to do this, but I think if they were to change it to six moves in total and have two of them be dedicated non-attack moves (status moves, healing, protection moves), it would really change up gameplay.  That would ensure players didn’t just load up on more attack moves while giving everyone two free move slots to change the way they approach battles.  

No Eevee until post-game, still!? Come on, I’m practically an Eeveelution trainer, I need a Leafeon and a Jolteon in my team, and I won’t say no to some Espeon, Umbreon, or Glaceon either.

And let’s get rid of the meaningless choices.  I’d like to see real decision trees that actually affect the gameplay and the story depending on the choices you make.  I’m not asking for a full on Paragon/Renegade system, nor do I want the extreme complexity of a game like Heavy Rain, with dozens of potential endings or something like that, but I would like to feel that making choices in the game could change how NPCs interact with my sprite and maybe put me at an advantage or disadvantage for gym battles, wild encounters, team battles, and the like.  I admit, this is the hardest of all my suggestions to implement; but I think this is the one that would give the game the most depth and replayability down the line.  I don’t know much about game programming—I’ve seen Console Wars and I wrote a couple text-based games in high school, but that’s about it—so I can only infer that this would be an undertaking.  And I understand why there isn’t much motivation to do so, as Pokemon continually has a renewed player base.  As the kids who grew up with it become adults and have kids of their own, they introduce their children to Pokemon and the cycle starts all over again.  So maybe this is the biggest ask of them all, but I can’t stop thinking about a Pokemon game where I actually get to jump into my character’s Running Shoes and get down to business and play and react the way I want to.  Pokemon has done a lot for immersion over the years—allowing players to choose gender, skin tone, outfits, and even allowing players to go hatless in recent generations has helped me feel represented and more connected to story—and this would be one huge leap towards an even greater level of immersion.  

And on a simpler note, how about letting me have multiple saves on the same game?  In the handheld days, the cartridge only supported one save, it wasn’t stored on the device.  But now saves are local to the Switch and the only way to have multiple saves with the same game on the same console is to set up multiple profiles.  There must be some sort of justification to restricting this, but I can’t figure what.  Long after defeating the Elite Four and the Champion, sometimes I want to boot up and start again with a different starter Pokémon and change the composition of the team I take to top of Victory Road.  But I’ve forged a relationship with these little digital traveling companions of mine; I’ve given them nicknames and earned accolades and have hours of NPCs telling me how important my relationship with my Pokémon are.  Wiping my saved game to start anew feels like taking my cute critters to a river and drowning them one by one like a villain in an old-timey novel.  I don’t like that feeling.  But I also don’t want to create multiple profiles on my Switch just for this purpose.  I’m kind of at an impasse. And lastly, how about a true multiplayer system so I can play co-op battles with my old friend again?

Walking with your Pokémon is back and expanded from the original game, much to my delight

Okay, so it’s a wish list.  Some of the things I wanted earlier, like a more open world, exploring experience seems to be on the menu already, as things like the Wild Area in Sword and Shield were the first step in that direction and I’m hopeful that the upcoming Pokemon Legends: Arceus will go even further towards a more Breath of the Wild-like experience in traversal, while still letting the story stay more or less on the rails.  I think these changes would help to ensure Pokémon’s relevance as its original fans grow older and its new fans grow up.  Let the game grow with them and I think Nintendo’s pocket-sized giant will continue to reign supreme for decades to come.  

Indigenous Peoples’ Day Special

Back when I was growing up, today was called Columbus Day.  Now, I know when you hear that sentence, it’s usually followed immediately by some bullshit plea for historical something or other, but not from me.  I love this change, I think it’s a fantastic idea.  Even when I was in elementary school, I didn’t understand the whole Christopher Columbus thing.  Sure, it makes a good rhyme, 1492, sailing the ocean blue and all that.  Sure, it’s catchy, it’s got a beat and you can dance to, but you can do that with anything that ends in two and is at all maritime-related.  How can you discover a place where someone already lives, I’d ask. Can I walk into my neighbor’s yard, discover it, and then claim that shit for Spain?  I never really did get a satisfying answer to that.  Second grade, am I right?     

Anyway, out with known dirtbag Christopher Columbus and in with Indigenous Peoples’ Day.  What a welcome change; instead of celebrating a historical stain with a good PR game, we can celebrate and honor indigenous peoples and their cultures.  Media has historically, being generous, not been great when it comes to indigenous representation.  Lots of really awful depictions of Native Americans in our media, often with white actors in makeup made to look Native American, dressed up in “native” garb, and doing a bastardized amalgam, at best, of several different tribes’ traditions, if not completely fabricated ones.  I mean, Johnny Depp played Tonto.  In 2013.  That’s indefensible.  So, as we celebrate native peoples, I’d like to highlight some media that’s either made by, starring, and about indigenous people.

Asta frustrated with Dr. Harry, a common occurrence

Resident Alien (Peacock/SyFy)

Yes, it’s true that Alan Tudyk is the main story of Resident Alien.  His portrayal of an alien stuck in a Colorado town so small it doesn’t even have a pizza place (pizza being a magical food he has only seen on episodes of Law and Order) is hilarious and moving.  If you’re not familiar with the show, Tudyk plays an alien on a mission to Earth who crash lands here, accidentally kills a doctor who looks eerily like Alan Tudyk, then he becomes Dr. Alan Tudyk thanks to his alien shapeshifting ability.  He’s pressed into service as a small town doctor when the small town’s doctor turns up dead.  Hilarity ensues, as he has no social skills whatsoever and Alan Tudyk expertly navigates what it’s like to be human for the first time, thoughtfully guided by his friend Asta Twelvetrees, a Native American character portrayed by the charming and skilled Sara Tomko, who has Native heritage.  While Tudyk’s Harry is the star of the show, it’s Asta who is the heart and soul; without her, it simply wouldn’t work.  And part of her story is how she is affected by Native tradition, expectations, and familial and cultural ties.  While not the focus, Native culture is important to the show and it was important to the people involved that the representation be accurate and real.  The cast, crew, and creative team took special care in how they portray Native Americans and that is one of the reasons you should watch this show. 

The eponymous Rez Dogs of Reservation Dogs

Reservation Dogs (Hulu/FX)

Co-created by the ever-brilliant Taika Waititi and Sterlin Harjo and featuring an all-indigenous writer’s room and basically all indigenous cast, Reservation Dogs follows a group of friends living on a Native American reservation in Oklahoma who harbor dreams of saving up and getting out.  The idea is simple—do whatever it takes to put enough money away to get them to California, where they can have more opportunities; the desire to leave punctuated by tragedy that occurred before the events of the series.  The show is unstoppably funny, shockingly heartwrenching, and altogether a fantastic work of art.  I can think of as many moments that I laughed out loud as I can times I wiped tears from my eyes as I, still, stupidly try to hold them back.  This show gave me that feeling I had when I first watched Atlanta; something here was not only special, it was authentic; it felt as real as a work of fiction could feel, because the people making it, from top to bottom, really care about how it’s made.  The cast of young, indigenous actors make their characters burrow their way into your heart as the show shifts focus from character to character.  In one episode, you watch as Bear gets excited over his delinquent father putting in a visit.  In another, Willie Jack convinces her father to go hunting, a formerly favorite pastime of theirs that they inexplicably stopped doing after her father had an inexplicable experience in the woods.  Elora takes her friends on a journey to learn how to fight from her crazy uncle who smokes a ton of old, weak weed.  And yet again, Cheese goes on a ride along with the Tribal police and has an all-too-real brush with mythology.  That’s one of the things this show does so well—the characters interact with their culture and their mythology in a way that is real—whether it’s real to them or it’s really happening in the show’s canon, these brushes with the supernatural are never superfluous, but whether they’re actually happening doesn’t matter.  It’s what these interactions do to our protagonists that matter.  How they change their perspectives because they spoke to a long dead ancestor or saw a demon who preys on bad men is what matters.  It’s not a show about the supernatural, even if the supernatural may be present.  Reservation Dogs probably deserves its own feature length blog post, but for now, suffice it to say that if you’re not watching this show, you should be, and today is as good a day as any to start.  

Hiding out in the bush seems decidedly less fun than it sounds

Ricky Baker, oh Ricky Baker….sing it with me! You’ll get it after you see the movie.

Hunt for the Wilderpeople (Netflix, Hulu, Tubi, PlutoTV)

If you’re looking for a one shot to get dip your toes into Native storytelling, instead of jumping right into multiple episodes of an ongoing series, Taika Waititi’s (him again!) amazing Hunt for the Wilderpeople tells the story of the troubled Ricky Baker, an orphaned Maori teenager who is placed with the final foster home who would take him.  This foster home just happens to be out in the wilderness, where city boy Ricky feels incredibly lost and isolated (much like how I feel whenever I am in a place where the trees aren’t surrounded by sidewalk).  Time passes, he very slowly starts to adapt, but tragedy strikes, and due to a misunderstanding, he and his Uncle Hec end up on the run, being hunted by an incredibly overzealous child services officer.  They take to the bush, where Hec (played by Sam Neill, who never did make it out to Montana to raise rabbits, but makes for one hell of a survivalist) is more at home and they can live off the land as they hide.  As for how the movie unfolds, let’s just say this.  As I’ve always said, the greatest comedy, the comedy that is elevated to literature, comes from a place of sadness.  The smiles are worth more after the tears, the laughs more hearty after you wrestle with the sinking feeling in your chest.  And Taika Waititi is a master of this, as he showed with this movie and proved again with the criminally underrated Jojo Rabbit.  Equal parts hilarious and heartwarming, Ricky takes his place right in that beating lump in your rib cage immediately and never leaves there.  This beautiful and hilarious film just needs to be experienced.  If you don’t want to commit to a show right off the bat (albeit returning, both Resident Alien and Reservation Dogs currently only have one season), which I completely understand, watch this now.  

This is by no means meant to be a comprehensive list and I am absolutely not an expert on indigenous cultures or their representation in media.  But, I truly hope that I’ve put together a list of shows and movies that honors indigenous people and their cultures, and one that represents a good starting point for more accurate representation of Native and indigenous peoples in media worldwide.  It’s a long time coming—remember, it wasn’t very long ago that Johnny Depp put on makeup to play a Native American in a big budget movie.  The Lone Ranger is Disney film.  Let that sink in; the same company that won’t have an openly gay character in their movies unless they can conveniently cut their gay scene for the China release (here’s looking at you, Jungle Cruise) painted Johnny Depp to look like a Native American stereotype 8 years ago.  The fact that I was able to find three Native-focused titles to write about that I didn’t have to go looking for is a huge step in the right direction.  I’ve watched all three of the titles I wrote about today because they came across them naturally, watched them because they looked interesting, and loved them because of how great they are.  I didn’t have to search out for these, I didn’t watch them specially to write this piece.  Hopefully this is just the start.  If you thought the days of Fisher Stevens in brown face, Mickey Rooney squinting and speaking in an offensive accent, and Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island putting on headband and pigtails like the Land O’Lakes woman were over, maybe they finally are. 

October Streaming Round-Up

It’s finally October!  If it weren’t 84 degrees outside, you could be pulling out your fuzzy sweaters, your pumpkins, your spices, and your lattes, and cozy up to some scary movies on the sofa as the murderous rage that most people seem to suppress year round is let loose for a month and then packed away for 11 months of nothing but Christmas content.  But forget the heat, let’s talk about what to watch in October in addition to your regular horror movie marathons or whatever you’re watching. 

Now, I don’t know if I’ve made it known that I’m not a big fan of horror movies.  When they’re done right, I really appreciate how well they’re done. This modern crop of Blumhouse films and the like seem to be really dipping into the science fiction playbook of using genre fiction as analogy to real world issues and the human condition; which I really have liked, even though I’m not always enjoying the ride that I’m appreciating.  My threshold for a watchable horror movie is pretty high and very specific (I’m not really going to sit down and watch a slasher flick, I’m not into ghosties and the like unless Scooby-Doo is involved because I love dogs, and if you see me watching a torture porn movie, there’s a high likelihood that I’m being tortured myself), so take this list with that in mind.  

So here goes it.  A list of horror movies and shows to watch this Spooky Season, from someone who doesn’t like horror movies.  

Movies:

Get Out (available for rent)

I don’t think there’s much else I can say about this Oscar-winning piece of brilliant filmmaking.  Jordan Peele’s directorial debut is as ambitious as it is well-executed, resulting in a movie that’s layered, deep, deeply satisfying, and pretty much frame-perfect.  Beat by beat, scene by scene, Peele takes you along on a trip where something just is not right; you know it, the protagonist knows it, but it takes just the right amount of time before he can put his finger on it.  And when the curtain is pulled back and we see what it is, the payoff is absolutely fantastic.

What could be scarier than a couple trying to fix their marriage?

The One I Love (Showtime streaming)

This is one of those that I hesitate to list as a horror movie, because I’m not sure that it actually is.  I wouldn’t call it a thriller either, because I think “thriller” implies a certain amount of action and movement, and The One I Love is a film about two people on vacation trying to repair their marriage.  But The One I Love leverages a lot of horror film mechanics to put you in that something-isn’t-right-here-but-I’m-not-leaving-for-some-reason mode while never really hitting you the way a true horror movie does.  However, I found myself literally trembling with anticipation from scene to scene in this tightly crafted film which examines human nature, relationships, and uses our vacation selves as analogy for who we really are or really want to be.  It’s a beautiful film about the faces we put on from room to room with the added benefit of keeping your heart rate up. 

The Babadook (available for rent)

I hate this movie.  Seriously.  I can’t stand it.  Almost every minute of watching it was an agony of fear responses and physical pain.  Yes, that’s right—watching this movie caused me physical pain.  As part of the movie’s efforts to unsettle you, certain sounds are used throughout the film that were at such a frequency that caused me actual, measurable, physical pain.  This hasn’t affected anyone else I’ve met who has seen it, but I thought I’d put it out there.  But when this terrible movie watching experience was over, I was glad to have seen it, because this film is a masterful tale about guilt, resentment, and grief.  As unsettling, uncomfortable, and hair-raising as this film is, I would also describe it as beautiful, in a way.  I’ll also never watch it again because of the pain it caused me, but I’m glad I was able to sit through it at least once, because it’s worth it.  And since you’ll probably not have the same problem I did, I’d say jump in with both feet and get super creeped out with reckless abandon.  

The Invitation (Tubi)

Okay, so taking your new girlfriend to your ex-wife’s house for a dinner party already pretty much seems like a horror story as is, but from there, things get very, very uncomfortable.  The former couple, torn apart by the loss of their son, dealt with their grief in different ways.  And this is where The Invitation starts to shine as a horror film.  So much atmospheric dread that it drips from the air—much like The One I Love, the protagonists stick around for various reasons, including ones as simple and silly as social niceties.  The movie reminds me of that scene in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo where Stellan Skarsgård invites Daniel Craig in for a drink when Craig suspects him of monstrous crimes, but he assents anyway because he didn’t want to seem rude.  Of course, things end badly for Craig, just as this doomed dinner party goes awry.  The tension builds and builds to a terrifying crescendo that feels all-too-real to look away and not internalize the lessons of this tale.  It’s a film that unsuspectingly goes above and beyond.  

Dan Stevens is just too good in this movie

The Guest (Netflix)

File this one with The One I Love and The Invitation as another brilliant film that relies on building tension once you start to feel that something is amiss.  This is probably the least horror of all the films on this list, but there are real thrills to be had here.  The tale begins with the amazing and underrated Dan Stevens visiting his dead Army buddy’s family to fulfill a promise to look after them.  Stevens begins to insinuate himself into each family member’s life in a different way and things start to change for them.  Anyway, if you read that and you think you know how this movie is going to go, I promise you that you’re wrong.  Subverting expectations and shifting perspectives at every turn, The Guest is one of those you just have to experience.  

The Gift (available for rent)

I am an unashamed Jason Bateman fan.  A Batemaniac, if you will.  I loved him in Arrested Development, I loved him in Bad Words, in Horrible Bosses, in Game Night, and I loved to hate him in The Gift.  This creepy film about the past coming to haunt you in somewhat literal ways is one of his most compelling performances as the Jason Bateman you just don’t trust, but he’s outshined by the always underrated and always excellent Rebecca Hall and overachiever Joel Edgerton, who also directed this critically acclaimed film.  People lead more than one life, don’t they?  And sometimes other people pay for those past mistakes, unfortunately.  Joel Edgerton makes sure of that.  Watch this is if you’re ready to question if you really ever know anyone you think you know. 

Fear Street Trilogy (Netflix)

All the fear. Many of the streets. Occasional open shirts tucked into jeans.

This isn’t really a movie, not really.  It’s essentially a short series, six hours or so in length, but instead of being cut into 6-8 episodes of a TV show, it’s cut into three feature-length films that all tie together.  Individually, the Fear Street films can feel a bit too familiar, sometimes lazy, and often times overly cruel, but by the end of the third film, you see the thing holistically.  And once you step back from the puzzle pieces, you see the trilogy as one long story that really works well together.  When parted out, they can be a little underwhelming at times, especially the second film; the other two do a great job of subverting expectations and turning the tables on horror movie tropes, but the second is the one that feels most like an actual 80s horror flick, albeit with an obvious and unnecessary twist that I figured out almost immediately and had little to no impact on the story as a whole.  But if you can make it through the second film with an open mind for the third, I think horror film fans will be very satisfied.  

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (available for rent)

This horror-comedy of errors has all the markers of a cult classic; first of all, it has Alan Tudyk, which is always a huge plus in the pros column for me, and his compatriot Tyler Labine manages to keep up with him quite well.  Unfortunately for these two hillbillies, a group of preppie college students on vacation mistake them for brutal murderers and the hilarity—and death and destruction—ensues.  

TV Series:

Truth Seekers (Amazon Prime)

This gem of a show may only be getting the one season, but it’s one season well worth watching, even if knowing that we’ll never see a second hurts me the way that knowing we won’t get third seasons of Lodge 49 and The Tick hurts me.  That’s how special of a show this is.  Helmed by and starring Nick Frost, he flexes that Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz pedigree to team up with Simon Pegg once again and make a series that feels just perfect.  The right amount of horror which leaves you seriously spooked at times, blended with just the right amount of comedy to put you at ease, and enough warmth to seriously move you at times, Truth Seekers is a show that was cut down before its time and deserves a much longer run.  You got the feeling that this show was building to something truly special and it had something to say, but Amazon felt like we got enough.  Still, living with the emptiness that we will likely never see more is worth having seen the first season.  Like I said, I’m not a horror guy at all and I’ve watched this series 6 times from start to finish and I’m in the middle of a 7th rewatch.  If you only watch one thing from this list, this should be it.  

“Smile,” said the photographer. “Yeah,” they said, “that’s what it says on the van, innit?”

Stranger Things (Netflix)

If you don’t know about this streaming phenomenon by now, you must have been living under a rock.  To put it simply, boy goes missing, D&D friends try to find him, they can’t, he gets taken to a mirror world where everything is shitty, superpowered young girl kicks serious ass, regular powered slightly older girl also kicks serious ass.  Seriously, if you haven’t seen this yet, just give the first season three episodes and if you’re not begging for the fourth by the end of it, then it’s not for you.  

The Haunting of Bly Manor (Netflix)

This is a hard one to watch; Mike Flanagan doesn’t pull punches and Bly Manor was my first introduction to his style.  My brother insists that The Haunting of Hill House is equally as good as well, but I haven’t seen it yet, so I (and you) would have to take his word for it.  This miniseries features a lot of the same actors as Hill House and some are also in Midnight Mass, including the underrated Rahul Kohli, who shines in both series.  Horror has never appealed to me because I don’t feel the need to be any more scared than I am at any given time in general, but Bly Manor’s ability to move you emotionally is what makes this ghost story so much more than a ghost story.  I could name for you every actor and actress I felt performed wonderfully in this show about a nanny who unknowingly bites off more than she could ever hope to chew, but it would be faster to just send you to the show’s IMDB page, because they all do such a great job, it would be a disservice to leave anyone out.  I know I already mentioned Rahul Kohli, but the past is the past, we should leave it there.  

The Outsider (HBO)

The face of an innocent man, I’m sure.

Based on the Stephen King novel of the same name, The Outsider brings some genuine spooks and scares on top of a rather interesting mystery.  A young boy is brutally murdered—his killer’s DNA is all over the crime scene and multiple eyewitnesses place him at the scene of the crime.  But he also has an airtight alibi 70 miles away.  How can it be?  An interesting story held together by some incredibly strong performances by Ben Mendelsohn (also known as Director Krennic from Rogue One), Jeremy Bobb, Mare Winningham, and the always powerful Cynthia Erivo, this is a must watch for any horror fan, especially King fans (of which I am not, for the obvious reason).  HBO’s original series brings top drawer movie-style direction to this miniseries, which, again, feels more like a long-form film than a TV show at times (and can suffer an episode or two in the middle where the story begins to stagnate, but overall, it’s excellent), with excellent visuals, scoring, and sound.  Probably the most traditional horror story on this series list, which is why it surprised me that I liked it so much. Also, more Bateman! Batemaniacs rejoice!

Midnight Mass (Netflix)

A recent addition to Netflix’s original lineup, this is one more great series that acts as a long term movie from the minds behind The Haunting of Bly Manor and The Haunting of Hill House, particularly Mike Flanagan.  I don’t want to go too deeply into the story as this is still a new series, but while this isn’t as traditionally scary as some of the other series mentioned, Flanagan takes his brand of atmospheric horror and uses it to tackle religion, addiction, and redemption in ways that perhaps only the horror genre can.  Much like Get Out, Midnight Mass made me take a step back and re-evaluate my relationship with the horror genre and want to expand my repertoire of well-made horror films and series, especially if they can move me emotionally the way this (and many others on this list) was able to.  

Clarkson’s Farm (Amazon Prime)

Honestly, this remains the scariest television show of all time.  Do you have any idea of what goes on at a farm?  Because I do…now.  And when it’s Jeremy Clarkson leading the way, you have good reason to be concerned.  Seriously, this is just a bit, it’s a great show, albeit not very spooky at all.  Still, I highly recommend it.  

Look, I know I said this was a joke, but I’m from the city. I’d be dead on a farm within an hour.

Remembering Norm MacDonald

I love Norm MacDonald.  

Long before The Daily Show’s ill-fated Craig Kilborn stint and subsequent wildly successful Jon Stewart stint, there was SNL’s Weekend Update.  And, in my humble opinion, no one helmed the Weekend Update desk better than Norm MacDonald.  One of the things we like to do now is go back and pick apart the past, holding it to today’s standards, and I won’t ignore the fact that there were parts of Norm’s comedy that would be viewed as problematic today, but this isn’t one of those pieces.  I want to celebrate Norm’s life and his contribution to comedy.  But mostly, I want to share how Norm MacDonald’s comedy affected me.

Saturday Night Live hasn’t been great for as long as I can remember, but being allowed to stay up late and watch Norm’s Weekend Update was always a highlight of my childhood.  I probably shouldn’t have been watching and I probably didn’t understand half of what he said, but I was mesmerized.  When he got his own show opposite Laurie Metcalfe, I was on board immediately.  I loved that show then, though I have no idea how it would hold up if I were to watch it now (a topic I’ll be tackling with many titles in my Revisiting series), but I do know that whenever I’m playing poker with friends, I sit down, look at my cards, and say “I have an excellent egg”; I’m almost certain my brother will be the only one who understands the reference, but in an episode of Norm, Norm explained his perfect poker face system, in which he states “I have excellent cards”.  Through a series of mishaps I no longer remember, he ends up at what he thinks is an underground poker game, but turns out to be a game where you have to smash another person’s egg with your egg, without breaking your own.  So, with his foolproof system in place, “I have an excellent egg,” he says, and he goes on to play.  What could possibly go wrong, right?

Norm’s movies might be some of those that also don’t hold up, but I remember the trembling excitement I had when returning from the local Hollywood Video with a copy of Dirty Work to run through my dad’s new fancy DVD machine (though I’m through and through a city person now, the suburb in which I grew up was so small at the time, it didn’t have a Blockbuster until several years later).  Again, I couldn’t tell you if I’d like it if I watched the movie now, but I’m willing to bet I’d still get several laughs out of Norm’s glorious delivery.  I still can say “I’ve never seen so many dead hookers in my life” and elicit a response of “Lord knows I have” thanks to Norm’s creative revenge-for-hire business in Dirty Work (the sex workers in question weren’t actually dead).  Okay, so maybe only from my brother, but having a brother is great for that, you’ve got someone built-in who will get most of your references.  

Later on in life, Norm took a role that no one is talking about and that, still, boggles my mind as to how it happened.  I can’t imagine the conversation that went on to lead my favorite Norm MacDonald role.  But hey, let’s give it a shot anyway.  

Norm’s Agent: “Hey Norm, I’ve got a role I think you’d be great in.”

Norm: “Oh yeah? If this is another trick to get me into Gamblers Anonymous, I’m not falling for it this time.”

Norm’s Agent: “No, no, it’s nothing like that.  It’s voicing a cartoon, you won’t even need to wear pants.”

Norm: “You piqued my interest, sir, when you said I didn’t need to wear pants.  Do they want me to be the new voice of Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story 5?  Everyone’s pretty sick of that Tim Allen now.  Why doesn’t he go and do another long running sitcom that’s identical to one of his other sitcoms?”

Norm’s Agent: “No, it’s not Pixar.  It’s a show.  Where you solve mysteries, like Scooby Doo.”

Norm: “You want me to voice Scooby Doo?  Ruh roh.  Or is it Shaggy?  ‘Give me some Scooby snacks, fuckface’.  I’ll workshop that line.”

Norm’s Agent: “Well, not exactly.  It’s a show called Mike Tyson Mysteries.  You solve mysteries with the cartoon version of Mike Tyson.”

Norm (in disbelief): “Okay…”

Norm’s Agent: “You’ll be playing a man….who everyone will call ‘Pigeon’.”

Norm: “Why do they call him Pigeon, what is he, some sort of sexually-attracted-to-birds weirdo?”

Norm’s Agent:  “Well, not exactly.  He’s a man…who was turned into a pigeon…by his witch of an ex-wife.”

Norm: “I see.  At least I’ll be able to make fun of Mike Tyson.  Who’s impersonating his voice?”

Norm’s Agent: “Weeeellllllll, he’s voicing himself, so if you’re going to make fun of of him, I’d do it outside of punching or biting range.”

Norm: “I see.  Well, how much does it pay?”

Norm’s Agent: “They’ll meet your quote.”

Norm: “Then I’m in.  No pants, right?”

Norm’s Pigeon relaxes in Mike Tyson’s pool with a beer. He looks harmless, but he’s definitely carrying a gun in those feathers somewhere.

I could go on and talk about other flawless moments of Norm’s career, like Courtney Thorne Smith’s interview with Conan, but for me Mike Tyson Mysteries was nothing I’d seen before and Norm’s portrayal of Pigeon, a horny, crude, alcoholic, bitter, and unfiltered victim of witchcraft was absolutely perfect.  The show was (I assume was, I’m not sure it will go on without him) amazing and Norm’s performances were often the highlight of many, many episodes.  He was an integral part of that show and he made me laugh time and time again, just as he’d done throughout my life.

Norm MacDonald was one of those formative comedians for me—along with the likes of Dave Chappelle, Bill Murray, Chris Rock, Jon Stewart, Mitch Hedberg, Eddie Murphy, and Steven Wright—the comedians who taught me something about comedy itself.  They showed me the importance of making people laugh, the nobility of devoting your life to bringing smiles and laughter to people who may need it in ways you’ll never know.  Norm was one of the comedians that made me want to be a funnier person; someone who could brighten someone’s day with something clever or cut the ego with a sharp stroke of wit.  He was one of the people who made me believe in the power and strength of comedy, and from there I was able to see how the next generation took comedy and evolved it into literature (like Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s brilliant Fleabag or Bo Burnham’s excellent Inside).  I’m not saying we wouldn’t have experienced that without him, but I see an easy through-line from Norm and his contemporaries to the upper echelon of comedy we have now.  I often say the best comedy comes from a kernel of sadness, because that sadness is real.  But Norm was somehow the exception to that—he was real, but without the sadness.  He was just funny.  

I will sadly, deeply, and truly miss Norm MacDonald.  Poker face.  I have an excellent egg.